This day marked the culmination of 6 weeks of exercising an attitude of gratitude and cultivating a re-commitment to making myself "available" , daily, for a more intimate relationship with Jesus, the Lover of my soul.
Even as I write those words I'm humbled by the stalk difference between me...and Him! The very fact that I had to "work" at this taught me so much about myself--the difference between my human weaknesses and His omnipotence; my limited, self- centered understanding and His omniscience; my flakiness and His unchanging faithfulness. God didn't just "show-up"...He "hung around" waiting for ME to show up! It's incredibly humbling to have to admit that it wasn't always easy to carve out the time to take pause, reflect back and put into words the experiences of each day. Not because I am such a busy person with such a full life...but because I am so innately selfish with my time and energy. Because it comes more natural to me to walk in fear before faith...in worry before worship. How grateful I am that Jesus IS alive and with me... that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus...and that I need never lose heart...because I can be sure of this: "Though my outer man is wasting away my inner man is being renewed day by day. " So loving and patient is My Lord and my God! Thank you Jesus that "you are with me always, even to the end of the age because I would never want to do a single day without you!
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I love when a Sunday message picks up where my quiet time with the Lord the day before ended up! Such was the case yesterday. While I was hard at work Saturday, "earning" the sore muscles and stiff back that would try to keep me from church on Sunday, God was speaking to me about being the King of my heart! My King of kings and Lord of lords--with "no other gods before Him. I said , "Yes Lord, yes" ...singing as I worked! " You won't relent until you have it all...my heart is Yours!". Yup, I was confident I understood this one. Then, as Sunday's verses and message began to percolate within me, I saw far more! I do love how that happens! When the Israelites decided that they wanted a sovereign King to lead them--even after all God had done for them--God took it pretty "personally". He said, "They have rejected me."..."1 Samuel 8:9 "Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do." It touches my heart to realize that God loved them so much that He didn't try to just "control" them like a strong armed dictator, but allowed them their free will to choose. At the same time, He warned them that the "sovereign King"" they desired may not rule over them as He would--with a Father's love that always has their best interest in mind. Far from it! So I can't help but wonder...If we are "translated from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of light" by our acceptance of Jesus as our Lord and Savior then in those times when we "choose" to not heed His Word and warnings nor submit to His loving authority, or in those times when we say, "I hear ya, Lord telling me not to do that...or urging me to do this--but! " ...does He take it personally? Does He "feel" the pain of rejection? And I can't help but wonder...when we "reject" Him in that way are we "seeking first" the Kingdom of darkness that was once so familiar? Or "playing God" out of self-righteousness and pride? Are we, in essence, stepping out from under the "umbrella" of His divine protection that comes with obedience? Are we, like the Israelites, "rejecting Him as King of our hearts" ...replacing Him with an inferior, fleshly alternative, (given a man "cannot serve two masters")? Saul was the first king and we are told He ruled with great leadership and courage at first. But when he disobeyed God and chose to defend his disobedience and place the blame for his choices, did he set himself up to fail? Was "sin crouching at the door" of his heart? Is that where the jealousy and envy and bitterness "entered in"? Is that how depression and despair had their perfect work in driving him to suicide? Lord, it is humbling to wonder, If only he had "repented"...how differently the story may have turned out! Help me Lord to always face my failings, instead of running from them...to always remember the great things you have done in my life...and to be quick to repent--to make that u--turn-- back to where I got off Your path, so I can always sing,"You are my King, Jesus, You are my King!" The day was long. The tasks were daunting. The deadline was looming. Help was not available. The words, "Be still and know that I am God"...took on fresh new meaning. In fact, Day 38 confirmed the fact that you can "be still" while your arms and legs are moving very quickly! Being "still" is far more of an inner posture than an outward one! " That's the reminder I heard God whisper to me in the frenzy that posed both a logistical and a very physical challenge I seemed ill equipped for. There was, literally, no time to debate or stress over the seeming lack of an answer to prayer that could have spared me having to tackle something that simply was not a one man job...let alone a one woman job! It became obvious, very quickly, that the promise "I can do all things through who Christ strengthens me" was about to be put to the test in a big way! My faith would need to be in the hope that God really "doesn't give you more than you can handle." I guess He didn't. "We" got'er done...just He and I ..and the "alone" time was awesome. It's truly amazing how your ability to hear is heightened by your freedom to listen. During the hours my body was challenging muscles I didn't know I had, the Lord was challenging my heart and mind with the spiritual exercises of prayer, praise, and worship. My "body" may hurt tomorrow but my faith, trust and confidence in Jesus "alive" and with me have been energized. Once again I find there is something"more" God wants me to see in the recounting of a miraculous evidence of His Presence. Yesterday the picture grew clearer, more vivid, even more exciting, as I realized that the miracle that God used to safely set the Israelite children on their path to the promised land, was the same miracle that He used to bring their journey to an end and allow them to "enter in" to the land of promise. Perhaps "raging seas" are more than inconveniences in our lives. Perhaps "raging seas" are hallmarks of the beginning and the end of "wilderness journeys". Defining moments in our lives! Opportunities for the evidence of God's presence to be boldly and magnificently demonstrated! God-incidences for all the glory to be unquestionably HIS! Perhaps when we find ourselves backed up against a "raging sea"...we should get excited, instead of intimated! Though a bit of a desert journey may lie ahead...with our eyes on the Lord of promise, the path will be made clear, provisions will come, our faith will be strengthened and our victory will be sure! He is that faithful to His Word. His love is that unfailing! Many years ago a "raging sea" that nearly took my life was miraculously parted. I was spared. The new path was hard and not without seemingly impossible challenges. I did some things right...and many things wrong, along the way. God blessed the former and forgave the latter. There has been much to be learned on this trek of faith. Much to be learned! Lord to you I say: Today, what stood out for me in the story of Joshua crossing the Jordan River into the land You promised Your people, was Your very word to Him (Joshua 3:13) "As soon as the priests who carry the ark of the LORD--the Lord of all the earth--set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap." When faced with whatever "raging sea" stands between me and my loved ones, and the fulfillment of your promises, I pray I will have the courage of Joshua to be obedient to your Word and take that "first step"! A dramatic "scene" stood out for me yesterday--Moses and the Israelites, trapped at the banks of the raging Red Sea... the entire Egyptian Army rapidly approaching! With the terrified Israelites yelling in fear and panic, certain of their impending doom...Moses "poses the challenge!" Much like the challenge you recalled to my memory yesterday! The challenge to "watch and see what God will do for those He loves!" “Do not be afraid! Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”, were the words Moses spoke, just before he "raised his staff"! God did not disappoint! The Seas were parted to dry ground! Some 2 million people made their way to safety, and never even got their feet wet! (Exodus 14:16) The scoffers and doubters...the fearful and the worried...the confused and weak in faith...were ALL spared that day! Because God had raised up a "deliverer"--a man of faith, who placed His trust in the Lord His God, on their behalf that day! Thank you Lord, for "opening my eyes" to see the "present" reality of this miraculous demonstration of Your power and love. You, my Lord and my God, are "the SAME yesterday, today and forever! " Therefore, I declare this day, that I will "stand" with my "arms raised high" in Praise, and honor to you on behalf of my loved ones, my friends and all those you give me the privilege to serve in Your Name. I give thanks to you for Your omnipotent power and faithfulness toward those who believe...and I place my trust in you to "move the mountains" and "part the raging seas" that stand in the way of their victory, their peace, their healing, their provision...even their faith...today! In Jesus' Name, we give You all the glory and thank you for the "evidence of Your presence" in our lives today! The day I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life and my personal savior, I needed a miracle! It was 1978 and my newborn Daughter, Sherren, was critically ill. There was no medication being prescribed and no medical procedure being offered to us. In fact, the medical profession had thrown it's hands in the air, and painted her future "bleak". Hope came in the form of an angel of a woman who came to us with just a Bible and her faith. She took us on a walk through the New Testament with a stop-off at every scene in which Jesus performed a miraculous healing! Story after story we heard Jesus say,"Do you believe I can do this?"..."Be it done unto you as you have believed"..."Go, your faith has made you well". Then it was my turn to "respond" to the Lord Jesus. My Baby Girl needed a healing! "Do you believe He can do this?", the woman asked me. "Oh, how I want to believe!", was my answer. With a joyful bit of a child-like giggle, her voice chirped the words, "You have only to believe!"That precious woman prayed over my Baby Daughter that day and she prayed for me as well, " Lord I pray for the healing of this Mother's broken heart, that she would see You, Jesus, in her Daughter's healing and realize how very much You love her too.". He did. Two healings were set in motion that day. Those of you who know my family know that my Daughter Sherren is a living testimony of God's love and faithfulness and, yes, His healing power. Her's is a story we have told countless times to God's glory, and every time it touches my heart anew to remember what the Lord has done. But yesterday, Day 34 of recognizing Jesus' presence alive in my life He did it again! He took an experience on my walk with Him...my very 1st experience, no less...and showed me something I never saw before! Last night our Pastor, teaching from Ephesians, vividly showed us how very much God takes pleasure in showing Himself to us! "Ask God to open your eyes and show Himself to you!", was the challenge Pastor related in a story about a conversation with a man who had yet to come to believing faith in Jesus. Though the man questioned the reality of a "personal God" who"cares"...the challenge caused him to "look" and "watch" for the evidence of God's presence in his life. And...you guessed it! God showed up! Of course! He is not a man that He can lie! "He who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door will be opened!" Luke 11:10 That is what happened to me! In that sick-bed nursery in 1978 I took the "challenge" ! I realize that now! I SAW Jesus in all His power and glory at work in my life and circumstances....because "I was looking!! " That "angel" of a lady knew if she could "turn my eyes upon Jesus"...everything would change! EVERYTHING! Lord I thank You for bringing this lesson home to me so in personally and powerfully! And I thank you, in advance Jesus, for every opportunity you give me to point another to you with the very challenge that brings me to this moment in time! "Looking" for You...to show Yourself alive and among us, by so many "Infallible proofs." (Acts 1:3) Your whispers to my heart yesterday, continue to speak to me. If Your Word is true (and I know that it is!) and if I'm "rightly dividing" it (which I pray I am) then when You said "I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly", you were trying to draw a serious comparison between that which is "from you" and that which is "not"! It is, indeed, "our adversary the devil" who comes to "steal, kill and destroy." Thank you for showing me that the primary tool of his trade in my life seems to be "distraction!" Thank you for helping me see that the still, soft, sweet voice of Promise that whispers hope to my heart and soul is the voice of Truth...and the "squeaky wheel" that gnaws at my resolve, frustrates and distracts my thought processes--dampening my spirit, is the voice of a "defeated foe" whose mission is to steal my peace, kill my joy and destroy my purpose...one day at a time. Thank you Lord, that no weapon formed against me may prosper. Though it may appear to have formed, it may NOT prosper! What a victorious and freeing thought you blessed me with this day! I love how a "whisper"from you can cut through the "thunder" like the sweet chirp of a bird announcing the passing of a storm. Day 34 brought the sun with it! Yesterday my precious Sister celebrated her 52nd Birthday. The party was in Heaven-- as it has been the last 10 years. My Baby Brother had saved her a seat at the Banquet Table for many decades, and they were joined by Mom not too long ago. Cancer took them home...but "Love " keeps their memory here and holds the promise that we will meet again. Yesterday God showed Himself alive and present with me through that very same LOVE...as "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God." Romans 8:16 Yes! His children! --Brothers and Sisters in the Family of God! Yesterday had the potential to a be day of sadness...a day of mourning time lost. But it was, instead, a day of warm fellowship with Sisters in the Lord who bring joy to my life every time we talk, every time we meet, every time we pray for and with one another-- every time we remember "whose we are!" "Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God." 1 John 3:1 Thank you Jesus for all the amazing "family" You have blessed me with! I have always loved Sundays. Growing up, Sunday was the day my Italian family (as many as 30 of us) traveled, weekly, from our varied locations in the New York-New Jersey Metroplex to gather at my Gramma's house in Jersey City...where homemade pastas, homespun hospitality and heartwarming faith welcomed us in and loved on us for a while. Even a snowstorm couldn't keep us away! I re-established that "tradition" here in TX with my own Children and Grandchildren (some 30 of us!) though I confess one Sunday a month was, logistically, the best we could manage to get everyone together at the same time. (Snow was seldom a concern!) After church that big ole' house would smell so good...and sound so alive! Such were the thoughts I shared on that couch with Jesus...on Day 31 and such are the memories I will cherish long after the house is sold and my visits to it are over. Yesterday, on that couch in a near empty Family Room...I felt Jesus' presence beside me...helping me make sense of all the emotion I was experiencing. And I thought I got it. But, once again...He had more for me than I could grasp in that moment. He is so patient with me! Then Sunday came, again. The message was, as always, refreshing, inspiring, and...in this case "motivating" as our Pastor talked about letting our desire (our aim --our motivation) be to please God and to be Ambassadors in His service in this earth, our temporary home..pointing others to Him. The verses from 2 Corinthians 5 reminded me of all that God has done FOR me...making a way for me to be a "new creation in Christ Jesus"...making it possible for "old things to pass away...new things to come." My heart song was "Freely I have received...freely will give, Lord." As the service came to a close our Pastor ended with this verse from Revelation 3:20 "'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and 'will dine with him,' and he with Me." The italics are mine! Those words struck the cord of intimacy that was the foundation of all the treasured family memories I had danced through the past 48 hours! Here my Lord, my God...my Jesus, alive and at my side first on a lone couch, and now in the church sanctuary...brought home "the rest of the message" He had begun to share the day before--The "reality" of God Himself sitting across a table from me...dining with me...intimately relating to me! The Lord God who parted the Red Sea...DINES with me! The Lord God who gave His only Son to die on a cross for any and all of my failings so that I could live...walks with me, and talks with me, and sits by my side on a lone couch wiping my tears, then draws me closer and closer to the understanding that IS Him...the Truth that IS His Word and the intimacy that IS His love! Lord...I am overwhelmed! Have you ever "dined" with Jesus? Is that a knock at your door? While 'downsizing' is ultimately easier on the budget, it is, I must admit, a bit hard on the heart. Of course I remember trying to convince my parents to 'downsize' from their big house is Florida so they could move here to be nearby when they had needs. The daunting thought of selling a life-long collection of treasured "stuff" and leaving a long time family home filled with memories...talked them out of it. I confess: I didn't get it--then. 'Now' is another story. As I watched my Piano go out the door to a new home yesterday the tears just flowed. They've done that several times this week, as "things" disappeared from my life. They're just "things" I told myself...every time! But the tears didn't heed my reasoning. On Day 31, I sat on the lone couch in a room once bursting with smiling family members balancing plates of warm food on their laps, laughter, and music... and the memories bounced me back and forth between joy and sadness. I couldn't move from that spot for the longest time. I wished we could have just one more "family dinner" in that fabulous big house. I wished I could tell my Mom...I'm sorry...I get it now! I wished I could stop feeling so sad. I asked God to help me understand why this was hitting me so hard. I KNOW it's just a house. I KNOW it's just "stuff". I know I don't "need" any of it. In fact I know and have given thanks for the blessing that the sale of such things has been... a true provision from Him! And therein rested the key to the deep emotion I was feeling. One by one the memory of the exact day that God "blessed" me with each of those "things"...from the Piano, to the Upright Bass, to the Dining Room Set I was finally able to afford... (to the House itself for that matter)...came flooding back. I could remember, in vivid detail, giving thanks to God for His provision ...for blessing me with something I had prayed and believed for, for so long. I could recall the joy in my heart at His goodness! No wonder it hurts! These were my "blessings"! I had been treasuring them with thanksgiving for many years. Then He took my my thoughts back through the events of the past few days: To the smiles and joy on the faces of their new owners! The stories each "buyer" told of feeling God had brought us together, for such a time as this. How each item was "exactly" what they had been hoping for! And the realization that these "blessings" were now "blessing" another person! "Blessed to be a blessing"... were the words I heard whispered to my heart. And it made me smile through those tears. Each "blessing" I received had now been multiplied to bless another...even to bless me a second time by meeting a pressing need. Answered prayers...theirs and mine. That's what the Living Jesus helped me to see, sitting on a couch in a near empty room in a house for sale on Day 31--Just the two of us. |
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40 Days of
"Infallible Proof"
Giving thanks For The 'Evidence of His Presence"
WHO WILL JOIN THE CHALLENGE?
"The...account I made...that Jesus...presented Himself alive...by many infallible proofs, being seen by them during forty days..."
Each day (for 40 nights) I will think back through that day and look for Jesus showing Himself alive to me and make an account of it here!